I get a little annoyed by the way people talk about DIY weddings online.
On one side, you hear: Oh my God, it will be a disaster. It will look terrible. It will still cost a fortune. Don’t do it.
To be fair, some of that advice feels a little self-serving when it comes from people who make their living selling wedding services.
Then there’s the other extreme: Oh my God, it was so easy! We saved so much money! Our entire wedding only cost $5,000!
And sometimes that means they got married in a public park with random strangers wandering through the wedding. That may be perfectly fine for some people—but most of the couples I talk to would like a little privacy, please.
The truth is somewhere in the middle.
Yes, you can create your own wedding. Yes, you can save money. And yes, you can create something personal, meaningful and genuinely magical.
But it is work.
There is a lot to think about, a lot to organize and a lot to handle. There will probably be trade-offs. A DIY wedding can still cost $10,000, $15,000 or $20,000—and that is still a lot of money. It can also cost much less. A great deal depends on the resources, time, skills and willing helpers you already have available.
And if you know you would hate the process, please don’t do this to yourself. I would never suggest a DIY wedding to someone who thinks planning and creating it would be miserable. An all-inclusive venue may be worth every penny if it allows you to enjoy your engagement and show up for your wedding without becoming the general contractor for a small temporary city.
But if the idea excites you—even if it also makes you a little nervous—you absolutely can do this.
A surprising amount of what makes a DIY wedding work happens between your ears—and sometimes between your family members’ ears. Expectations, flexibility and family dynamics can matter just as much as money or decorating ability. We’ll talk much more about that in the How section.
And because DIY weddings aren’t only about budgets, checklists and portable toilets, I’ll also be sharing some of the magic: the beautiful, funny and unforgettable things I’ve seen happen when people create a wedding that is truly their own.